So I’ve seen whiteness equated with normalcy, beauty, patriotism, sacrifice, purity, intelligence etc. Pretty much all the positives you can load into one concept. So, here in this global post racial society why are we still attaching whiteness to positive qualities? I know there’s a ridiculously high chance posting this will end with someone getting on my nerves, but let’s try it anyway. Name some positives that you associate with POC. Try to avoid anything that fetishizes, erases personhood, or relies on the concept of whiteness as validation. Try to avoid any of the tropes like Magical Negro, Spicy Latina, Smart Asian, Wise NDN, etc. After you remove the stereotypes are there any positives we associate culturally with being a POC?
Thus far we've been told everything he doesn't have (he's not cognitively delayed, he's not autistic, he's not PDD-NOS, etc), and all that anyone is willing to hang their hat on is intense shyness & a possible expressive speech delay since he doesn't engage in casual conversation. He has some mild sensory issues (doesn't like loud noises or itchy fabrics), but neither of those are considered serious enough for occupational therapy. His fine & gross motor skills are completely on track & since he can verbally express needs/wants/random observations the speech therapist isn't sure about him qualifying for her services. Hubby & I are having the IEP redone, but they're already hinting that it will come out as not a disability that impedes his education & thus he'll get no support services. We'd pay for private services if we knew what he needed, but thus far that's not been established. We've discussed private school, but the only school we've found that works with kids who have no cognitive delays, but do have social challenges doesn't have a kindergarten. I don't want this year to be too hard on him, but I also don't want to impede the social skills we did see him developing in preschool. We can't figure out the right move & I'm contemplating tears. Thoughts? Suggestions? A guidebook to parenting?
So I read this post about the increasing number of death threats against women bloggers. And for a second the old panic started to rise up in the back of my mind, but then I looked around & remembered that I was in the hood in a house full of overprotective black men with a pit bull who thinks I'm hers and I was able to calm myself down some & really look at the last few months. I glossed over a lot of stuff (or didn't post it at all in part), because I knew writing it down would make it too real for me to kind of ignore as I tried to do on a day to day basis. I pride myself on being a tough chick, & I was pretty good at that until I got the descriptions of our clothes and activities & the threats to rape me to death in front of my family.
Curiously, the longer it went on the less mention was made of abortion & the more the threats were about me being female. Some mention of race was made in a couple (mostly of the uppity nigger or black bitch variety), but overall it was about me being female and not knowing my place. Apparently that place is under some man's heel & since my husband wasn't doing what he should do then my stalker would. Which...tell me again about how this whole thing is for the good of women and I might hurt you. This last month I've been getting my legs back under me. Sleeping again (incredibly important as it turns out), spending time with the fam, & just letting myself be while the rawest bits healed. I'm probably never going to be the same, but that's okay. I'm alive & safe & so is my family.